The Force Awakens Review: Action Movie 2015( Guest staring the stars of Star Wars)

I finally went to see Star Wars the Force Awakens and there's no point to delaying the inevitable so let's just say it: I think I liked Revenge of the Sith better.

Now please put away all the hatred and let me explain. Star Wars FA is by no means a bad movie. It was fun. It was exciting and there was a sense of wonder to seeing old familiar faces in old familiar roles. It was an enjoyable way to spend two and a half hours.

It's very much the Pirates of the Caribbean of Star Wars. A safe marketable action romp for the whole family.

However the more accurate thing you should compare it to is Star Trek 2009, another scifi reboot produced by JJ Abrams.

StarTrek09 is also a fun movie and also a safe marketable action romp for the whole family. For the most part people liked it. It was a triple A budget and it gave Star Trek fans more love than they've gotten in the past twenty years. For the first few weeks even the die hard fans seemed to like it.

Criticism began gradually when people started to realize that even though the movie had been fun and had a ton of fan service for old school trekkies there was a mysterious something missing. It just wasn't a Star Trek movie.

Star Trek is not an action series. It has its moments but if you're looking for fast paced action and high flying adventures, you probably shouldn't be digging through old Star Trek episodes. The series and even the movies to some extent were vehicles for drama and analysis of the human condition.

Star Trek09 was an action movie set over the Star Trek license. A geek fantasy watered down and made palatable to the masses. It's not a bad movie by any means, but is it a Star Trek movie?

Well it doesn't really ask anything of the audience except a complete suspension of plausibility. We encounter nothing new or beyond our experience. Despite mucking around with two timelines Spock Prime doesn't give us much food for thought except for a warm fuzzy geek moment implying that Spock and Kirk are soul mates. Guess McCoy got the short stick this reboot.

Star Trek Into Darkness on the other hand WAS a bad movie with few defenders and the geek squad have largely given up on this reboot as being actual Star Trek. Star Trek Movie #3 is supposed to be a war movie which offers limited opportunities for anything Star Trek related.

Star Wars by contrast is an adventure franchise so at first glance it seems that JJ Abrams latest pick should synergize well with his style.

Did it? Well...

I've spent the past few days thinking and if I were to sum up the reasons I think Star Wars FA is only good with a side of "meh" it would ironically be the same reason I thought the prequels mostly sucked: The film makers don't know what people like and hate about Star Wars.

This is Star Wars for a new generation. This movie was made for the YouTube crowd and cinema is very different today then it was almost forty years ago. The writing is decent and I don't even have to say the special effects rock. The acting is solid, I'd even say the kids badly show up the old folks.

Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher seem old and tired and not terribly interested in what's going on. This contrast is even worse compared to Daisy Ridley and John Boyega who own every minute they're on screen.

Harrison Ford is both a strength and one of the movie's biggest weak points. Harrison Ford is an incredibly gifted actor who can say a lot without saying much and several scenes are well done. However Harrison Ford also appears to be very old, very tired and very much pained by what he's doing.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was stupid in all kinds of ways but it was fun. Ford liked what he was doing and that translated into the product. He had fun so we had fun. Here almost everything about his performance screams: "I really don't want to be here."

As a character Han's scenes feel very rushed and not much seems to happen in them.

Harrison Ford is making a cameo as Harrison Ford but only on condition that it is very brief. Now Harrison Ford is an actor not a character and there is absolutely no reason he has to like Star Wars or appear in it which may have something to do with how he has an extremely forced death scene so he never has to do Star Wars again.

I think the expression Ford makes when he gets stabbed was him realizing just how dumb Han would have to be to fall for a setup like this.

Sean Connery said quite firmly he didn't want to do Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull so they killed him off screen. Honestly I think I prefer that! How lame would it be if Connery showed up on set and looked bored in every take? Learn something from your Dad, Jones!

Carrie Fisher is decent in the film but how do you not give Luke Skywalker a single line? What a rip off.

Some of the decisions they made with the old cast are also kind of strange.

Han and Leia are divorced? Or at least they split up?

Good call there, Mr. Abrams. That's what we all wanted to see them doing after all these years. When I saw their romantic scenes as a child I said: "They'll be divorced in three years. I hope we see them lonely and bitter in the sequels."

I can buy that Han and Leia had a rough time of it and that they very well might go their separate ways after losing Kylo Ren. Life is complex and messy not a neatly structured plot line. However they don't have enough screen time to show their relationship properly and the whole thing feels forced.

The decision to separate them doesn't even really seem to add anything to the plot. Han is dead at the end of the movie. What DO you gain by separating them before that? Han could have been on a day trip to a spa without Leia and story could have played out the same way. Leia would have been single in XIII and IX regardless so this clunky separation doesn't really add anything to the plot.

My favorite parts in the movie, and what the movie to its credit mainly focuses on, are Rey and Finn. These young actors are gifted and clearly giving it their all. This is really what makes me think about being "long long ago in a galaxy far away." Daisy Ridley seems a strong protagonist for the new franchise and Rey is a character that I'm more than willing to follow. She's tough but good hearted, she's clever and generally thinks her way around problems. She's female and yet remarkably the movie never makes this an issue.

Finn is also a welcome addition. He's funny but more than just comic relief. He feels very much like a real counterpart to Rey, Han to her Luke. They have some real on screen chemistry and their characters feel three dimensional.

I also like how a man and a woman are capable of sharing some screen time without declaring their eternal undying love for each other.

Then again that might just be because one of them winds up in a coma.

At first the movie seems to be getting off to a good start. We meet Rey on a desert world where a droid is fleeing from the evil guys containing some kind of vital data which could spell doom for the rebellion if it is recovered.

Yes that does sound familiar.

The movie starts out replaying Episode IV point for point. At times this seems more like a reboot than a sequel. Helping a droid escape a desert planet, the dark jedi kneeling to the hologram of his master, Han taking out a shield facility, the trench run on the planet sized super weapon.

I know they're trying to be properly respectful to the material but each time these scenes come up they are inviting a very deliberate compare and contrast. This is great when the new material outshines the old, not as great in other cases.

Kylo Ren is a big reason I rolled my eyes at the movie. In fact I rolled my eyes almost every time I saw him on the screen. Now to be fair, Adam Driver gives a very solid performance with the material he's given. The problem is more the shoes he's trying to fill. Kylo Ren is pretty much what you'd get if you gave me Sith powers: A guy who's melodramatically depressed and spends far too much time complaining about how his father didn't love him enough.

Some of the character decisions they made with Kylo Ren are baffling to me. Compare this guy to Darth Vader. Vader was a hulking figure who intimidated before he ever said a line of dialogue. We can also compare Kylo Ren to Davy Jones from Pirates of the Carribean. Davy Jones is a brooding savage killer who displays moments of agonized regret and misery. He's clearly a sadist and thrives on inflicting pain to friend and foe alike. His crew and Jack Sparrow cower in his presence. All of these things mean we see Davy Jones as a fearsome threat. A tyrant who can't be defied. However when he sees Calypso he reveals how hurt he is and how much he just wants to belong to Calypso again. Davy Jones is a powerful villain who remains family friendly and at times even comical. He's intimidating but knows how far he's fallen and wishes he could find his way back. Kylo Ren on the other hand is a misunderstood little boy.

Kylo Ren is obviously fighting for authority against his military counterparts and he doesn't have Vader's kind of intimidating presence or authority. His force powers and skill with a lightsaber are cool but it still doesn't add up to an intimidating villain. His scene with Harrison Ford is just pathetic as this evil villain we're supposed to fear snivels about how he needs to find the courage to kill his unarmed father.

Dude. Grow a pair. The other Sith are totally going to steal your lunch money.

I know some people like his costume but if you ask me it just looks silly. He looks more like Cobra Commander than a Sith. Vader's mask was evocative of a skull. Why does Kylo Ren's mask look like something the Great Gonzo would wear?

Kylo Ren's weakness as a character translates into Snoke's weakness. First off, what's with that name? Snoke? Really? That's like a name from Dr. Seuss or maybe I heard it in SpaceBalls. When we first encounter the Emperor in Episode V we're intimidated. We're intimidated because Vader whom we already recognize as powerful and fearsome kneels to his master without question. This alone tells us Palpatine is a pretty serious customer.

Is Snoke bad ass? I don't know. It doesn't seem to take much to make Kylo Ren back down so it's not really impressive when Snoke brings him to heel or gives him a command.

I'm not even sure what to make of Snoke. He's the Emperor. Literally, you could swap out one character for another and not miss a beat. They took no chances with this role and didn't break out of the past even a little. They tell us nothing about Snoke and I'm honestly not sure why we're supposed to be intimidated by him. He doesn't even have a character. What does he want? Is he pure evil? Lawful evil? Misguided? Help me out here movie!

Kylo Ren's character can be summed up in one scene: When Rey escapes her cell Kylo Ren instantly gives in to his fury and demolishes the room. Does he find the soldiers who were guarding her and punish them cruelly? Does he make the room explode in a vortex of Sith lightning? No he just starts breaking up the furniture like he's swinging at a pinata. They even add a moment of comedy with Storm Troopers seeing how mad he is and sneaking away. A raging Sith Lord should never be an occasion for comedy...

This guy is supposed to be Darth Vader? This guy is Anakin Skywalker.

This is exactly what I meant by the film makers not understanding what made Star Wars awesome. When they got a chance to invent a new Darth Vader they gave us a new Anakin. Why does everyone think we just can't get enough emo?

Honestly if this character had been Anakin in the prequels I might have learned to like him. Adam Driver does a good job of making us feel for Ren. The issue at hand is that Anakin was the protagonist and I was supposed to like him. Kylo Ren is the bad guy and even if his redemption is already planned I shouldn't like him. He kills his unarmed father on screen, a major beloved character who clearly we like better than Kylo Ren. Trying to get me to sympathize with this character is an exercise in futility.

The worst part is that Kylo Ren loses all cred by the end of the movie. Rey has picked up a lightsaber for literally the first time in her life and she handily takes apart this ostensible master duellist. Yes she's the hero who wields “unknowable and unfathomable powers” but she's never practiced with a lightsaber before. Ever.

Imagine if Luke had defeated Vader in a duel in Episode IV. Wouldn't be much tension in the next two duels would there?

The hero needs to grow into their power not just be handed vast powers because of plot convenience. Luke's progression was gradual. He struggled, overcame. He losses his first fight to Vader and his hand with it. He only survives because Vader, for completely plot based reasons, was trying not to kill him yet. Luke needs to finish his training and master the Force to stand up to Vader. Giving Rey this kind of power at the drop of a hat just to have an exciting climax is the worst form of lazy screen writing.

Actually I take that back. The WORST example of lazy screen writing comes just a few minutes later. When Rey is about to kill Kylo Ren the most convenient gorge in the history of convenient gorges opens right between the two of them just before she could strike the finishing blow.

When I saw this I literally face palmed. This is just so lazy and bereft of even a modicum of plausibility. They "deus ex"-ed the hero away from the villain just because we don't want her to kill the villain yet. What are we as the audience supposed to believe happened there? Are they claiming this is the Will of the Force? Did the Force read the script and decide they needed to build Kylo Ren up for a few more movies before killing him off?

Star Wars FA is an enjoyable well paced romp that thrives in being what it is: A family friendly non-threatening and non-thought provoking Christmas blockbuster. It utterly fails at advancing the Star Wars storyline in any meaningful way but it's a fun ride.